i'm loving the new facebook fad where people post 25 random facts about themselves. it's an interesting autobiographical exercise and an opportunity to learn more about your friends, and some of the lists coming out are really, really good.
and i kind of resent them.
the thing is, once you've published your list, you're done. and since all of this stuff circulates publicly, what you've said is necessarily being read next to what everybody else said. which i find -- this belongs on my list -- horrific.
my friends' lists remind me of the things i forgot -- yes yes yes, jerry, you're totally right about people who ride their bikes on the sidewalks! i hate that too! their lists reveal a cleverness i suspect i don't have. why didn't i at the very least number my list backwards, like nat did? they impress upon me how narrow my life has been, or at least how limited my imagination is: i can't honestly start a sentence with "in order to be a clarinet player in the armed forces, i became a canadian citizen ..."; i've never been grabbed by an orangutan (mari); and it has never even occurred to me to long for a velvety lioness-like tail (susanne).
there's no gentle way to put this: my friends' lists make me look bad. it's not just that caitlin is a good knife thrower, it's that i'm not. ever since i read her list i've been pouting and resentful. i want to be good at everything! i want to know everything that everybody else knows! i want to be as clever as they are! i want to do the things they've done! and then i want to condense all of that cleverness and ingenuity into The Best List Ever.
what's that you say? it's not about me?