Monday, August 3, 2009

What not to do (part 4)

from up here on the plateau, a partial list of things to avoid if you hope to be promoted in the university:
  • good teaching. in particular, do not attempt pedagogical experiments. do not move into a new area. do not team-teach. do not teach extra-to-load. do not pick up teaching from colleagues who fall ill. do not assist colleagues' teaching. do not use new technologies. do not concern yourself with the relevance of your material to the students in your class. do not co-publish. do not teach graduate students to teach.
  • responsible supervision. every time you are about to answer an email from a graduate student, ask yourself, "will this get me promoted?" you already know the answer. do what most people do, and leave that chapter sitting on your desk. eventually even the most talented doctoral students give up and drop out.
  • mentoring. it's supposed to be hard for other people.
  • publishing where people might actually read you. obviously, this makes your colleagues look bad.
  • arts and culture festivals, extra-academic boards, or other demonstrations that you take seriously the concept of community engagement. "sweetheart, we didn't mean it!"
above all, if you imagine change and work for it, you might as well pull the trigger yourself.


VicoLetter said...

you imagine change, work for it and rock

xo love you zwicki

Anthony said...

what's happening?

mari said...

You have done many things wrong! But still you got promoted, yes? F the rules. F them to f'ing H.

It seems like generosity gets punished, but does it really? When it comes time for the big gunfight, your posse will be huge. And some of them will not be nerds. The way you have conducted yourself has generated lots of love. There is something to that.

Nevertheless, it IS hilarious how nasty people are in your profession! It's like a cartoon!